The Holy Gosh Darn Review

Heaven seems like a pretty chill place, right? Well, imagine if it was full of more dogs than people, little old men who pass out at 3 PM, and a skeleton who is convinced he can do an ollie. Well, that’s where you find yourself in the latest game from Perfectly Paranormal: The Holy Gosh Darn. The question is whether this title will be our salvation or our damnation. 

If the developer’s name rings a bell, you may recall their last game, Manual Samuel, where you played a recently deceased man who had to control everything he did manually. The Holy Gosh Darn takes place in the same universe (you even run into Sam) but with very different gameplay. You now take on the role of Cassiel, an angel in Heaven who enjoys relaxing and trying to name all the dogs coming into Heaven. However, there’s an issue: in six hours, Heaven (and Earth) will be destroyed. Thankfully, Azrael, also known as Death, has a handy watch that will allow you to relive the last seven hours over and over again.

What follows is a dive into the game’s wacky version of this world and afterlife and the pure insanity of being able to rewind time. While Cassiel recalls everything that has happened, no one else does. So, she will have to have the same conversations over and over again. You, as the player, will need to solve puzzles to gain items, which you can then use to convince angels and people to tell you things. 

For instance, one of the early puzzles requires you to get the key to a vault from Saint Peter. However, he will only give you the key if you can prove you are a time traveller by telling him something only he would know. The catch is that he would only tell you this when he was just about to die. You must go forward to the end of the world, get him to tell you and then travel back. 

The conversations are some of the high points, as you will need to use your knowledge of events to get the ideal result. For instance, you might ask someone what you can say to get what you need faster when you go back in time, but then be rude about something and still not get what you need. It’s all well-written and generally funny as well, which helps. 

The clock mechanic is also great, mostly because of how simple it is. The clock allows you to travel back via 15-minute intervals. You can also set a single time point that you can travel to, basically as a quick save point. However, you’ll initially lose items that you haven’t collected yet. It becomes a game of remembering what time things occurred and then moving to them.

You’ll also use this power to unlock more grace by doing God’s work. Each time you earn grace, you’ll unlock a new ability, be it a dash or a double jump, which allows you to explore the levels and find more secrets. Honestly, the platforming isn’t great, but considering you can turn back time, it’s minor. I don’t really want to spoil more, as a lot of the gameplay and humour need to be experienced personally.

As I said, the writing is funny, but Cassiel’s reactions really sell it. She gets more and more annoyed with people the more she must talk to them, and they, in turn, can refuse to talk to her if she is too rude to them. This annoyance is even conveyed in the character who looks more and more annoyed/bored as she goes. All the characters are entertaining, and there’s even a surprising amount of lore for the universe as well. It’s all conveyed in conversation and codex entries. 

Graphically, The Holy Gosh Darn resembles the prior game with a cartoon style and simplistic animations. It reminds me of those old shows made out of craft paper, with all the characters being noticeably 2D. It’s fine; if anything, it helps to sell the world. However, it can be a bit hard to tell where you need to go sometimes. There’s also really no reason to explore, as you’ll end up visiting nearly every location at some point. The only real reason to look around is to find the tiny old people to tell them they suck… it’s a mission, I swear.

The Holy Gosh Darn is everything you want from a puzzle game: the writing is solid, the challenges are solvable, and there’s no point where you’re left baffled about how you were meant to figure out the solution. The great writing and the general atmosphere all help to make this a game worth playing, if for no other reason than a good laugh and to name all the dogs.