SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated Review

Cult classics are a funny thing. When Heavy Iron Studios (a subsidiary of THQ) released SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom in 2003, it couldn’t have foreseen the cult following of speedrunners that, years later, would latch onto the game like barnacles to a long-derelict ship. Now, a whole community has grown and flourished around the licensed, 17-year old 3D platformer. In response to this boom in popularity, THQ Nordic has commissioned Purple Lamp Studios to remake the surprisingly revered game—even working with speedrunning icon, SHiFT, to weigh-in on speedrunning matters during development. While it’s certainly showing its age after two generations and 17 years, SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated (BFBBR) is still a decent remake of a platformer that—above all—triumphs in capturing the tone of its source material.

The setup for BFBBR is simple, fun and very ‘SpongeBob’—it could work as an episode of the show which, by my measure, is the highest honour a game like this can receive. With the ‘ingenious’ Plankton (Bikini Bottom’s resident villain) forgetting to flick the “obey” switch on his army of robot minions, hordes of electronic evildoers begin running amok throughout town. Mistakenly thinking themselves responsible, SpongeBob and friends must travel around Bikini Bottom, meeting up with familiar faces from the show and helping them fight off the mechanical menace. It’s not winning any narrative awards, but the story is a serviceable enough excuse to explore Bikini Bottom, complete tasks, fight enemies and tell jokes. For a game like this, that’s all you need—just don’t question how these robots function underwater, the game sure doesn’t.

In fact, there’s a fair few things that aren’t worth questioning in BFBBR. Why, for example, golden spatulas are necessary to defeat the robot menace is never explained. Nevertheless, in the vein of Super Mario Odyssey’s moons, they’re the primary reward for completing various tasks, puzzles and challenges strewn around the game’s semi-open platforming levels. That is, in addition to Patrick’s lost socks (yes, really), SpongeBob’s spare underwear (yes… REALLY) and nondescript colourful shapes which are treated like currency despite bearing no resemblance to it. Earning these oh-so important collectibles will see players smashing a variety of enemies, fighting giant bosses, sliding down enormous ramps, solving large (but usually not difficult) puzzles, traversing platforming obstacles and more. There’s no denying the variety of tasks on display here. BFBBR is more than a 8-12 hour obstacle course with an occasional robot-smashing interlude, it’s a full-on family-friendly adventure with multiple playable characters, secrets and styles of gameplay.

Even by 2003-standards, however, none of these gameplay features are best-in-class; nowadays, in fact, they’re outright clunky. No amount of visual magic can distract from the painful truth that this is a PlayStation 2-era game, with all the trappings and technical limitations that come with that. Despite first and foremost belonging to the 3D platformer genre, BFBBR’s platforming sections are among the least enjoyable and most dated parts of the game. It’s not just that jumps are imprecise (although that IS true), but much like fan-made levels in games like LittleBigPlanet, the correct path through a level can often feel cobbled together. There were too many instances where I felt unsure if I’d circumvented the level’s design or was just following a poorly-designed obstacle. It was never a nice feeling, made worse by the fact that it is actually possible to ‘cheese’ the level design in many places. After all, Battle for Bikini Bottom is a speedrunning staple; even the remaster needs to be vulnerable to exploits and shortcuts. Unfortunately, that does contribute towards cheapening the experience for traditional players.

It may feel like a PlayStation 2 game, but BFBBR in no way looks like one. Purple Lamp Studios has remade the game from the ground-up, and while it’s a little limited graphically and framerate-wise on the Switch, it still blows the original out of the water (pun intended). The added vibrancy of colour helps the game match the show’s tone, and when taken alongside the surprisingly high-quality writing and (mostly) original voice cast, the whole experience feels like a superb celebration of SpongeBob’s early seasons.

The dated elements of BFBBR are an inevitable, but understandable, result of remaking a game from 2003; at worst they only presented a degree of unpleasantness to my playthrough—nothing unforgivable. As much as I’d like to report that my complaints end there, they don’t. Occasional technical bugs saw SpongeBob and his aquatic friends falling through the floor, dialogue failing to play (thanks subtitles) and one endless loading screen. Again, none of these things were particularly experience-ruining, but they definitely soured parts of the adventure in my memory.

When it comes to flaws, nothing in the game soaks up more hatred than the Kelp Forest level. Like every stage, it’s based on a location recognisable to SpongeBob fans; unlike every stage, it doubles as a SpongeBob-themed anger management exercise. Not only is the colour scheme an unappealing kelp-green, but every previously mentioned niggle and gripe is here in full force. Expect poorly-spaced jumps, a toe-curlingly frustrating slide sequence and one task whose solution would surely resemble an exploit in any other game. I can overlook every other missed note in BFBBR, but not this one. Like a punch in the face on a day out to the beach, Kelp Forest came along and wiped the childlike smile right off the face of this young SpongeBob fan.

Even with its many imperfections, BFBBR ultimately succeeds as an attempt to spruce up a 17-year old game. It doesn’t stand alongside the 3D platforming greats, but it’s a fantastic tribute to a beloved show, with enough humour, personality and returning cast members to satisfy all but the most die-hard sponge-heads (if that’s not already what SpongeBob fans are called, it should be). People less familiar with the yellow sea sponge’s exploits will find it harder to overlook the creaky, PlayStation 2-era quirks. It looks better, but that doesn’t mean it plays better than it did 17 years ago.