Eroico Review

Platformers are a dime a dozen, and it’s easy to see why. They’re relatively simple to make, and have been part of gaming since the first console wars. But that doesn’t mean you can’t put a new twist on things with new mechanics, graphics or… well there’s no delicate way to put this. Eroico is a 2D pixel graphics platformer, which features 15 types of enemies who literally want to both kill you to shag you, and shag you to death.

Don’t get me wrong, the gameplay is tight and challenging, but the first thing that will draw a potential purchase is the promise of half-naked anime-style monster girls. Of course, it’s not on Steam because there’s graphic depictions of sex, but it is available from the developer Kyrieru’s website or Nutaku.net.

You control an unnamed hero as he battles across three stages, encountering over a dozen types of monster girl and various amounts of spikes, on a quest to… it’s not really clear. There are bosses and an ending -- but there’s not really a clear narrative other than ‘kill everything to avoid being murder-sexed’. I don’t even know why it’s called Eroico -- is that the land? The hero?

This is a relatively family-friendly site, what did you expect to see?

There are spells that you can unlock as you progress, which use up mana -- which isn’t really a renewable resource. You need to collect hearts for health, but the only way to gain more mana is to find one of the few seemingly nice monster girls, or the (for lack of a better term) upgrade stations. These are stone platforms which recharge your mana, but also unlock new, more powerful spells so long as you’ve collected enough glowing crystals from dead monster girls. They are all some form of long-range energy attack, and it is possible to miss them if you’re rushing through a level (or don’t have enough crystals).

When you’re attacked, there’s a chance that you will be knocked down. You have a limited amount of time to hammer some buttons to bring yourself around, before the closest monster girl takes advantage of you. You then have a few seconds to hammer more buttons to fight them off, otherwise the sex animations begin, complete with squishy noises. When they’re finished, you can fight them off again -- or not if you want to re-watch the animation. If you lose all of your health, you cannot fight them off and the game over screen is a graphic static image of the sex the monster girl is doing to you.

Both of those monster girls have entirely different humping animations

I played through Eroico on the Easiest setting (that’s literally what it’s called), and I still found it very challenging. You have a sword and a shield, and can jump back, but getting the timing down is quite difficult until you get used to it. I had to stop using the keyboard and swap to my gamepad, as it’s much easier to control that way.

The sprites are very well designed and quite detailed (again, hence why it’s not currently on Steam), and the animations of the enemies are really smooth. The music is enjoyable, but I noticed it kept cutting out at points for no apparent reason. The sounds are pretty basic, but kudos to the developer for making such a graphic squishy sound for the intercourse.

For a game that’s marketed on sex selling, Eroico has about as much story as I’d expect. That’s not to say I’m not disappointed, I am, but it’s obviously not at the forefront of the developer’s mind. It’s more than just a basic platformer, and it does look great, but it’s hardly groundbreaking.

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