Elf Girl Pinball Review

This isn’t the first pinball game I’ve played that involves hitting the ball against breasts in an effort to undress a lady, and that restores my faith in videogames. Elf Girl Pinball is by a different developer to the other one and actually came out before it, so I was quite interested in discovering what differences they had, other than the setting.

You begin the game with a short cutscene introducing the four characters too quickly to actually read all of the information presented in their little bios, but the business is opening up and customers are expected. Then, you start the game with two elves in bondage, and I wonder what kind of business model this is.

The first table of Elf Girl Pinball sees an elf sticking out face first, with her back and breasts as hazards for your ball, and a dragon with her crotch sticking out as an obstacle. Yes, the “elf” in the title is more of a suggestion than a rule, because while there is a second elf, the fourth being is a demon. There is a camera view of the rest of their bound bodies shown depending on whether you’re at the top or bottom of the table, and each half has its own flippers and bumpers. As you play the one table, you will slowly earn money to unlock a second mode called Intense Shooting Mode. As for how money is earned, it’s never explained but it appears that the more times your pinball ball causes the ladies to orgasm, the higher the point multiplier is?

Money earned can also be spent on extra balls, as well as items for the elves and the option to gain entry to the two rear sections of the table. Each one requires different controls (shown at the bottom of the screen), but honestly, they seem a little pointless, as in one, the ball doesn’t bounce high enough, and in the other, it will usually ping past your blockers in ways that don’t seem possible. Oh, and if you want to have sex with the table girls, you also need to spend money to unlock positions to fool around with them and the demon owner. As for the fourth lady, the other elf, she features a little in Intense Shooting Mode, and you can pay to unlock a view of her breasts while you play (her nipples activate the bumpers).

You can only have relations with three of the characters, and each thing you want to do will unlock at a different price. That’s not to say the prices are drastically different, but you will need to save up in any case. If you fill up the orgasm meter you get rewarded with some money — repeatedly filling it will give you exponentially more money, with 10 orgasms being 200 coins compared to 20 for the first one. As in real life, being a generous lover will reward you.

Unfortunately, after you’ve explored what each type of loving will show, there’s not much to make you return since it’s just click and watch. If it’s a position that uses your penis, you can select whether to finish inside or outside, but otherwise, you’re just able to enjoy the animations. At least changing what you’re doing won’t reset the meter, though leaving the mini-game and returning will reset. I will admit that the artwork is great, and each character looks distinct.

I’ve mentioned it a couple of times, and Intense Shooting Mode features both elves and the dragon’s crotch or head and breasts and is like a weird pachinko machine. You have one ball which fires smaller balls, and you can aim the turret which fires them. Either the small balls or the normal-sized ball has to hit certain markers, which cause different things to happen — a massager will run on someone, the girl will flip around so their other end is pointing outwards, cat paws will slap their breasts… All designed to make them orgasm and give you a point multiplier. However, if you run out of small balls, refilling them will cost you points!

The artwork is really bright and vibrant, but unfortunately, the audio is very repetitive. Remember, you have to grind pinball to get any decent amount of money, so the same few moans and music tracks are on a constant loop.

Once you have unlocked both Free Modes there isn’t really a lot left to Elf Girl Pinball. No, the term doesn’t mean that you have unlimited pinball balls or small shooting balls, they are actually two entirely different modes that amount to basically the same thing. Utilising all of the tools of pleasure on the elf and/or dragon, and also shooting small balls at them. The Free Modes don’t give you any rewards, they’re just there so you can have some stress-free fun.

While this is clearly a much better adult-themed pinball game than the last one I played, it still suffers from having only one table. The sexual stuff is much better at least, and you can’t say that Elf Girl Pinball doesn’t live up to its name: it has Elf girls and pinball. Unfortunately, it has no achievements though, so bear that in mind if you’re a fan of those.