Crypt Custodian Review

Crypt Custodian is a top-down adventure title that plays like a metroidvania, created by Kyle Thompson. Before we jump into the game, we have to make a few choices, like how challenging you want your journey to be. The Difficulty Mode selection changes the speed of the enemy and boss reaction times and attack patterns; it also affects how much time you are allowed in timed challenges. If you find it too hard or easy, you can change this at any time from the pause menu. The game also allows you to turn on a mini-map to give you an idea of where you are going and where important locations, like save points, are situated. With everything set, we are ready to dive into the game or, more accurately, fall into Crypt Custodian.

The intro cutscene shows a black cat falling with vehicles in the background. Our feline has landed on a platform, and not very gracefully; this wasn't a superhero landing! The animal protagonist is a black kitty named Pluto. A blue cat with a heavy coat and scarf comes up to you and makes an adorable cooing sound like my real-life cats. This blue cat is named Pip, and he will act as a guide to THE PALACE. You know it's an important place when it's all in capitals and has LED lights like the rainbow colour on my keyboard.

Pluto is confused because they were just outside on the street. Where are they, and how did they get to this place? Pip says that THE PALACE is the most beautiful part of the afterlife, but currently they are in the entryway where all new ghosts land. It is at this point that Pluto realises that he must be dead. As depressing as this is, it is not the end of our adventure. Pip says that the first thing you will do is meet the guardian of the afterlife, Kendra. She will listen to your life story and decide if you are allowed to enter THE PALACE, which sounds a lot like Heaven. This is where good ghosts will go and experience neverending bliss, whereas the bad ghosts are forced to live outside THE PALACE for all of eternity. 

Travelling to meet Kendra will give you a chance to learn all of Pluto’s actions, like jumping, dodging, and attacking. The game helps you out with some of these moves by having an arrow that points in the direction that you will jump in, making it easier to make precise jumps when needed. While exploring, you see a glowing broom. You pick it up and realise that it can be used like a sword, so this cleaning tool is now your weapon. However, attacking enemies isn’t the only thing it can do; it can also smash pots and statues blocking your way that you find around the afterlife. We all know cats love to be destructive!

We learn that your guide, Pip, has never been in THE PALACE himself. He thinks that he must have been bad because Kendra said so. However, instead of being banished, he was forced to be a guide for all of eternity. What she says goes, so she is the one who makes the rules and will enforce them forever. Now it’s Pluto’s turn to be judged by Kendra. I have a bad feeling about this; destroying the statues around the entrance feels like it’s going to bite me in the arse… Either way, you don’t have a choice, as it’s the only way you can enter, so you can't avoid this sentence.

Speaking to Kendra, we see highlights from Pluto’s life and how they got here. Things look promising for our cat; they’ve been a good kitty, that is until we hear about the entry on the last page of her book. You have been destructive and destroying her precious statues, so she deems you as bad, so you cannot enter THE PALACE. However, she does not banish you; instead, you have to clean up the mess you have made, and Pluto will be the custodian of the afterlife for eternity. 

Stuck in the afterlife isn't as depressing as you may expect. Even with the constant rain falling, the mood in Crypt Custodian is quite uplifting. This surprised me since there are a lot of sad stories involving animals here, especially if you decide to look for the collectibles placed in this world that tell how each of these characters you interact with got here. I shed more than a few tears! To be fair, I cry at pretty much anything, especially involving animals… Despite this, the writing in this game has a fun sense of humour along with a sweet story about friendship and helping others.

Since Crypt Custodian is a metroidvania at heart, there is a lot of backtracking here as Pluto learns new abilities that will let them access areas that weren’t accessible before. Fortunately, you can buy a marker for your map that will show you the next location that you should visit, so you won’t feel totally lost on your journey. The game has save points in each area you visit; these locations also recover your health and allow you to fast travel between all the points you have found so far, saving you a lot of walking!

Crypt Custodian has a beautiful, hand-drawn look to it. All the characters are adorable and unique, and the world itself feels like a watercolour painting. The music conveys the feeling of being trapped in this rainy afterlife, forced to be on clean-up duty for all of eternity, though at the same time, it feels very calm and relaxing.

Crypt Custodian is an enjoyable, melancholic, and wholesome game, full of adventure, action, and puzzles. I think it will be a great fit for fans of metroidvania titles. The story is very well written and manages to make what you would think is a depressing game into a heartfelt adventure. If you are a fan of games like Islets (also created by Kyle Thompson) or even titles like Celeste, you should check this out. I never would have guessed that being a custodian could be so fulfilling, especially when you hit people with your broom!