Blood Bowl 3 Review

You know a videogame series has hit new heights when they have spin-offs. Some franchises blend the genre into their respective sub-genres like Halo’s RTS (real-time strategy) series Halo Wars, but others are more bizarre, like Dead or Alive’s tropical sports games. Then, there’s the sports tie-ins — Mario and Sonic being the main culprits — but only one developer turned a dark fantasy tabletop wargame into a homage to a particular sport way before either franchise got behind the wheel.

Blood Bowl 3, developed by Cyanide Studios and published by NACON, is a rendition of fantasy American football set in the world of Warhammer: Fantasy, where tackling is done with fists and boot heels. Based off of the tabletop game of the same name by Games Workshop, you create a team composed of one of the races/factions from the Warhammer series as you take part in leagues and tournaments in a series titled Blood Bowl. All American football rules apply except the players have to bludgeon to death the opposition while making a touchdown.

The moment you start the game, you must make a fresh profile for single and multiplayer as well as for online capabilities. You’re then thrust into the mandatory tutorial that teaches you how to play, what and where to click, as well as briefly explaining the “D6” number generator that affects your players’ movement and success, in a comical event called “The Clash of Sponsors”. Once completed, the campaign tournaments open up one at a time, as you rise through the ranks until you face the region’s best team to win the cup. However, it’s easier said than done, as each team has their own techniques and squad tactics they use on and off the field (which I will explain later).

Each match begins with fanfare and the commentators’ intros as you (and the AI) choose perks — called inducements — that aid you with instant healing items or the ability to bribe the ref to avoid giving you a red card. Once picked, the game flips a coin to decide who kicks or receives the ball. Each team has eight turns to get to the end zone before changing over. Finally, the team with the most touchdowns (or points) wins the match and progresses further in the competition.

Throughout the match, the sounds of roaring fans and the commentators talking over the game gives a genuine sense of realism. It’s also a plus that actions in Blood Bowl are reacted to, especially as the commentators’ bad mouth the players on the field when you roll low numbers.

All teams and individual players are customisable. From team uniforms, colours, and emblems to unlocking new gear and cheerleaders with every game you won, there’s a lot you can do to make your squad standout against the others.

The aesthetic designs of Blood Bowl 3 is slightly exaggerated, as well as cartoonish when comparing the choice of brighter colours in each stadium and playing field. The character models closely resemble those from previous Warhammer: Fantasy videogames, rather than the miniatures to past Blood Bowl titles. With tongue-in-cheek and slap-stick humour alongside the chemistry of the returning voice actors playing Blood Bowl’s official commentators, Cyanide Studios certainly cemented the choice to not take the game too seriously as it incorporated sly nods to real-life sponsors of the NFL.

A recurring joke in the Blood Bowl series is the implementation of fantasy-themed sponsors, like Orcidas (Adidas) and Nurgle King (Burger King) with many new sponsors to choose from. As the game is set during the “Clash of Sponsors”, you gain perks from each sponsor you get by defeating their champion team and moving forward to the next region.

Now, I have to be honest; I knew nothing about American football or how it’s played when I jumped into Blood Bowl 3, and thought it wouldn’t matter as the game would teach me basic tactics. I was wrong for the most part. While it taught me bare-bones basic gameplay, it didn’t tell me that my “professional” football players would fumble the ball while trying to pick the damn thing up. No matter what I did, if I blocked the opposition and got ready for a pass, the RNG gods — or canonically the deity of Blood Bowl, “Nuffle” would make me fumble — giving the opposition a chance to kick my arse and score another touchdown.

After losing ten straight games, I felt like I was coaching an under-10’s community team against an ever-encroaching brick wall. The first team you’ll face is a Skaven team calling themselves the “Bilge Rats” and they were getting their revenge on me for what I did to them in Vermintide. I only got past their lines a few times as, once they had the ball, they huddled around the quarterback to block me from them.

I was lucky enough to get the day-one DLC teams: The Imperial Nobility and the Black Orcs, and tried them to get past the Skaven team — which I can’t stress enough is the first team you play against. The Imperials are more rounded while the Black Orcs sacrifice brawn for mobility. Unfortunately, the DLC teams didn’t do much to soothe my 20 to nil score as I was missing crucial understanding of how to play those particular teams. I threw all my hopes into the race with the lowest mastery requirement, the Dwarves; similar to the Black Orcs but were more likely to handle the ball better. I went in with new tactics and a team.

There are some technical bugs in Blood Bowl 3, like enemy players disappearing on the field, the AI taking their sweet time to make moves, and the game freezing which unfortunately forced me to quit.

Whether or not I’m terrible at American football or Blood Bowl 3’s RNG is rigged to make me lose 25 games in a row without making one touchdown, Blood Bowl 3 is a tightly woven game that you should get your hands on simply for the challenge. Unforgiving gameplay will prevent some players (me included) from making progress but an overall experience, nevertheless if you want to bang your head against a wall or an orc, go right ahead I’ll just be here licking my wounds.