Hardcore Cruising: A Sci-Fi Gay Sex Cruise! Preview

As a prank to GameGrin, I thought I would choose that I would be previewing "everything" in Steam Next Fest, especially since my reputation is centred around writing a bit too much (look no further than my bio, written by Andrew Duncan). When the meeting came around, and it was time for my prank to be revealed, I saw that my "everything" in the spreadsheet had been changed to Hardcore Cruising: A Sci-Fi Gay Sex Cruise! (Hardcore Cruising henceforth). Of course, everyone expected the joke to blow over, and we'd all move on, but I was left with a vengeance, I was meant to be the person that did the prank and not vice versa, so I downloaded it; I promptly played through all four paths available in the demo the day after.

You play as Milo, a man that has always wanted to work at Flaming Star Cruise Line, as he gets accepted and hired to work on the HMS Size Queen, where all of his sexual deviance would take place. As a worker aboard the HMS Size Queen, you will be tasked with sexually pleasing all of the customers aboard whenever asked at any given point. Although this sounds unethical to the workers, I would like to preface this by mentioning that Hardcore Cruising is one of the most sex-positive games I've ever encountered; not that I've had a lot of encounters with these types of games. 

Once you've begun your work at the HMS Size Queen, you will slowly be introduced to all of the main romanceable options throughout the game: Harse, the horned criminal who is working at HMS Size Queen for work release; Xelleck, the sugarlicious chef of the HMS Size Queen and water alien; Bruno, we don't talk about him; and Captain Taurus, a seasoned space explorer who joined the HMS Size Queen in search for a husband to voyage with him to the darkest unexplored depths of the universe (including, but not limited to, each other's prostates). The entire cast of characters is surprisingly lovable, even when including Harse, as his criminal record doesn't actually stop him from being a sweetheart at times.

He also happens to speak French between butts as well.

It's worth noting that despite all of them being romanceable, Hardcore Cruising allows for monogamous and polyamorous relationships, meaning that if you can't select only one, you can go a route that includes several members. This, unfortunately, was not showcased in the Next Fest preview.

The dialogue feels borderline satirical, as at one point I was given the option of either "Jack it like I'm Spiderman rubbing his wrist" (filled with the misspelling of Spider-Man) or "Punch myself in the dick". Aside from this, Milo constantly talks about his older brother who thought he wasn't "slutty" enough to get the job. Whenever Hardcore Cruising gave itself the opportunity to be a more serious story, it was surprisingly engrossing, as the characters were lovable and sex-positive themes filled the game.

At the end of the preview the game gives you a showcase on how your choices matter; for example, treating Harse nicely or meanly will unlock the final sex scene with him at the end or not, which was just a minor glimpse at what is in store. This is also shown as you only get to choose one crew member to "initiate" you (which essentially boils down to public intercourse so you'll feel comfortable doing it with customers). Each of the four different characters have completely different scenes (duh), but what particularly charmed me was Xelleck's, as he establishes boundaries very early on in the initiation, as he disagrees with the usage of food during sex. This is only one of the many instances in which the game tries to teach safe sex practices, including the HMS Size Queen's restrictions against ball gags so that you may say your safe word, or push a button on the necklace of the workers that works as an SOS signal for when you are being pushed too far. Plumbottom, the ship's coordinator, goes into a lot of detail about how to have safe sex with all of the customers, including making sure to verbally affirm the customer using a safe word whenever they feel uncomfortable.

Although I can't say for certain whether my journey will continue with Hardcore Cruising when it releases next month, I have to say that the preview certainly did pique my interest as to what sort of gameplay the game will have outside of the main crew. The lovable characters along with the sex-positive attitude are really inspiring in a world where sex is often more taboo than gore, and it's a cause I might decide to support. That said, the game's overall writing and satirical feel to it detract from the experience, and I worry that it will be a much too common style for my own liking.