You Won't Believe These 21 Persona are the Best in Persona 5

It's been, like, five hole years since Persona 5 released, starting an amazing series of RPG’s and a hole musical genre at the same time! I mean, that's seriously impressive beyond belief! So I wanted to celebrate this scion of culture in the only way I know how: a big ol' list on something that's kinda important to the game! I've seen a lotta stuff on which characters people like or on which of these Palace dealies are the best dungeons in the game, but I only date Futaba every time, so I don't really care about anyone else. And also, clearly her Palace is the best, so that's also a boring list! It'd just be, like, "3. Mementos, cuz haha, meme, 2. Okumura's space company thing because I love capitalism almost as much as I love burger, and then 1. Futaba's wicked cool tomb thingie!" I mean, it's so obvious!

So instead, let's do the Personas, cuz why not? Here's the objective list on the best Personas! In no particular order…

Satanael

Representing Fool, Satanael is easily the coolest dude on the block. He's a big boyo and, for his neutral special, he wields a gun!

A Gun!

He's got these cool wings, and some horns, and like a weird halo ring doohickey just floating there above his head. I always thought he was just supposed to be this ultimate cymbal of coolness and rebelosity, but did you know that Satanael is actually supposed to be Satan?! Kinda?! There's a couple of different sources, but according to this one guy, Enoch, he's a fallen angle. And then the pinnacle of all biblical texts, Persona 5, calls him "An archangel who is said to be the form of Satan before he fell from Heaven." That really does put a lot of stuff into perspective, y'know? The only question I still really have is why Satanael kept asking me for my sole? He got really pushy (I mean, REALLY pushy) about it, so I caved and sold him some feet pics and he left me alone, but, for real, what was that all about? Whatever. Aside from his weird foot fetish, I can absolutely say Satanael is the coolest Fool!

Jack Frost

Hee-ho! Jack Frost is the cutest Magician Persona you've ever seen, hee! He's like a cute lil snowman with a funny hat and some boots, ho! And he's just got the funniest little verbal tic, hee! It's too bad his competition was so-ho-horrible! While his name's similar to the famous winter fairy spirit thing that nips at my nose all the time, hee, he's actually a crossover character, hee-ho! He comes from Snowboard Kids SBK, a game released in 2005 for the Nintendo DS, hee! It was weird that they removed his classic snowboarding skills in Persona 5, but I guess there wasn't enough snow, ho?

Ho, speaking of Snowboard Kids SBK, let’s talk about it for a little bit, hee! Developed by Inglove and produced by Atlus, this, the third title in the Snowboard Kids series, was released for the Nintendo DS in 2005, ho! This third game in the series reinvents the hole snowboarding formula by getting rid of the exaggerated noses, which is a massive nerf because this reduces everyone’s downward speed, hee. The game itself can be a little hard to find, but it’s well worth the effort to play Snowboard Kids SBK (the third part of the Snowboard Kids franchise) on the original hardware — or at least with a controller, ho — because precise button presses are a MUST, HEE-HO!

You play as one of the kids (including the brand new character, Jack Frost, who later became Atlus’s’s mascot!!!) in either singleplayer or multi player, hee. I don’t have anyone to play with me because everyone I’ve ever loved has seen deep into the innermost darkness of my soul and not quite liked what they’ve seen, choosing not to allow me to drag them down to my wretched level… so I decided not to look into the multiplayer modes, hee-ho! In single player, you can do Boss Battles (where you race against a robot snowman and try to pelt them with enough snowballs to reduce a big health bar, which was NOT explained to me in my first attempt. Had to look up a guide, gosh darn it!), Slaloms (short races for getting the mostest pointeses), and the World Tour Challenge, a big course of races and Slaloms and Boss Battles where you have to place at a good score or something to progress until you eventually win, hee-ho! It’s like a marathon, hee! But on snow, ho!

Snowboard Kids SBK controls pretty well for the most part, as expected of a game that is the third in its series, but it’s not quite perfect, ho. Like in Wario Kart, you get items to throw at people, which is fun, hee! However, aiming at other racers is usually basically impossible because the items ether pick an opponent randomly or hone in on the snowboarder in front of you and the Shots (special items that the racers charge over time as they rack up points) become useless when you enter First Place, as they ONLY hit people in front of you, hee-ho! Also, the actual movement works really well, hee! Except on one of the race locales, where there are this big wholes everywhere, hee-ho? If you get hit and fall down, you respawn right in front of the whole and cannot get out of the way, which is just frustrating, ho.

Also, there’s these fun tricks, hee-ho! When you either have a big fall between landing areas or jump yourself with some honestly great jump mechanics of needing to build up speed while crouching before releasing the jump button, you can spin around, do flippy tricks, and even hold your board, ho! You can even combine these for maximum points, ho! Plus, the spinny and flippy tricks, represented as horizontally and vertically spinning the snowboard kid respectively, have special bonus abilities, hee! If you spin sideways, no enemy projectiles can hit you, hee! Although, sometimes the game alerts you to these way to late for you to respond, so that’s not always helpful, hee… If you spin vertically, you either get faster or at least avoid getting slower, which is very nice, ho! What aren’t fun are the touch screen tricks, which have you hitting various buttons on your touch screen to execute a complex trick, hee-ho. These look really cool, but I always have trouble sticking the landing because the game just doesn’t give the player enough time for the trick to actually happen and stop before landing, ho. It’s just embarrassing, hee!

Also also, the game often looks very choppy and the models don’t look super great, which makes sense for the DS, I dee-guess, hee. It does not make sense for it being the third game in the prolific Snowboard Kids series though, let me-hee tell you. Everything contrasts well enough and it’s never hard to tell what’s going on at any given point, but it’s just not impressive, ho. The music on the other hand, is really something, hee-ho! It’s nothing like the amazing jazz of Persona 5, but it sounds nice and poppy even on the DS, which is super impressive, hee!

Overall, the game is a solid experience that everyone will love, except those with bad taste. 7.8/10, too much snow, not enough jazz. Best third game in a series that I’ve ever played. Also the best racing game, hee. Eat your heart out, SSX On Tour for the Nintendo GameCube (Featuring Mario Mario from the Devil May Cry Series), ho!

23. Nike

Finally, the best Persona in Persona 5 is Nike of the Judgement Arcana! Technically, this isn’t one that Joker can summon with his OP “Wild Card” abilities, but she’s still really cool! Based on the Greek goddess salad of Victory, Nike is Shiho Suzui’s personnel Persona that she gets after getting attacked by zombies at the hospital. Gosh, Shiho is my favorite of all the party members and her Persona is also just the best!!! I especially love using Mighty Wave to deal heavy Freeze damage to all enemies with a chance to inflict the Ice status affect!

So that was all 22 of the best Personas in Persona Five, in no particular order! You already obviously agree, so please right down below your favourite Personas in the upcoming Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, releasing 20223 for the PSP3! You can also write down roughly when in the article you personally realised that it was an April Fools’ Piece, if you’d like. Sorry if I raised your blood pressure!