That Time The Elder Scrolls Had Santa

The Elder Scrolls series has no end of wacky characters and bonkers encounters. However, there is one individual in particular that is worth remembering, at this most festive time of the year: Uncle Sweetshare.

The Nord alchemist, Uncle Sweetshare, can be encountered inside Fort Frostmoth on the isle of Solstheim (during the events of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind ’s wintery Bloodmoon expansion). He is a waggish figure who bears numerous similarities to our own jolly, old Saint Nick, including: owning a workshop and having helpers, speaking almost entirely in pleasant sing-song, as well as giving “candy to all the boys and girls”. At face value, he seems an all-round and solid stand-in for the beloved Santa Claus, I'd say.

The character's relation to the real-world Kris Kringle was, at one stage in development, even more on the nose. Originally conceived as Grandfather Frost by Bethesda, the green-clad Breton was eventually replaced with the Uncle Sweetshare that we know and love, all because he was a bit too much like Santa Claus for their liking. As such, the strange Solstheim-dweller that we eventually got also differs a bunch from what could be considered classic Santa Claus territory.

Firstly, (and most apparent) he lacks facial hair. Something that neither a Santa Claus nor an honest Nord would embody — it's just plain wrong and he is simply not to be trusted! Jokes aside, though, there is indeed another — more sinister — facet to the character. And I'm not talking about his bizarre name choice, but more so his drug addiction, which acts as a catalyst for his playful behaviour. Note, dear reader: Uncle Sweetshare is not a truly whimsical chap, he's just off his bonce. Certainly not a great trait for a man so insistent on interacting with the youth of Morrowind. However, it gets worse still…

Existing permanently under the influence of “moon sugar” (a popular narcotic among the Khajiit population) forces him to see the world in a different light. Namely, a warped one. His so-called workshop, for instance, is actually a drug production headquarters. That “candy” he mentions? Yes, a refined moon sugar snack! And even those helpers of his: fellow addicts, eager to cook up another batch of intoxicating skooma (a moon sugar product). One such helper, M'nashi, even dies of an overdose, prior to the events of the expansion. However, if you choose to question Uncle Sweetshare concerning the burial, then the Nord makes wild claims regarding the ceremony, including a statement that the local wildlife came to sing a final send-off song for the fallen Khajiit. These claims are indeed the ramblings of a madman, and M'nashi's corpse is found rotting atop the snow of Solstheim out back — neither a burial, nor Horker singalong, seemingly having ever occurred.

The guy has just completely lost the plot.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know why I reminded you of this most tragic character. (I suppose it’s just any old excuse for me to witter about The Elder Scrolls.) Because if you do happen to pry only a little, you'll quickly discover that Uncle Sweetshare is not the least bit Christmassy. Regardless of the inspiration for his being. In fact, he's somewhat depressing, which is not at all something that you'll be wanting to mingle with on this most merry of holidays. Well, too late now!

With that said, he is still worth remembering as an interesting footnote from the franchise’s darker bygone era. And he does so fit wonderfully into said weird, Kirkbridian world of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (a game now more than ancient enough to enjoy a few boozy eggnogs of its own this Christmas).

Well, Merry Christmas! I guess…