Recommending Kingdom of Loathing in 2023

Before the RPG single player adventures of Shadows over Loathing and West of Loathing, there was Kingdom of Loathing; a browser-based MMO loosely set in mediaeval times, where Seal Clubbers are heroes and Pastamancy is a valid school of magic. I’ve been playing this recently because, well, I wanted to see where all that humour, wit, and weirdness originated from. Created by by Zack "Jick" Johnson and Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite (who has long since left Asymmetric) and released on the 10th of February 2003, the main quest tasks you to defeat the Naughty Sorceress who has imprismed (that is not a misspelling) the beloved ruler of the kingdom, King Ralph XI. However, you will not be paying attention to that little problem as you will inevitably forget about it and go off and do your own thing like complete quests, fight monsters, and earn some cold hard Meat.

If you’ve played any of the other Loathing games, you should be familiar with such a concept. The best parts of the Loathing games are all the various distractions you can get yourself involved in. I wasn’t even sure there was a main quest until several hours into my playthrough. I was content with doing whatever I felt like doing at the time.

Now, this is the point where I recommend you stop reading and check out the game yourself. The game is completely free, although donations are accepted, and all you need to do is sign up. You can even play on your phone, so it's a good time waster as long as you have an internet connection. Just go and try it out. I’ll even link the website here for your convenience.

But, if you need a little convincing to just check it out, well… uh…

Okay, to be honest, a lot of the best parts of Kingdom of Loathing is in its writing, rather than its gameplay. Since this is a browser game from 2003, the gameplay is rather simplistic and lacks a few quality of life features, and some mechanics such as crafting requires a guide on the wiki, but it makes the most of it. Combat only has three actions (use main weapon, use item, use skill), but you’ll often be fighting weird creatures and the descriptions of how much damage you deal or how much you take might get a laugh out of you. A bunch of quests are just going to fetch something, but the item descriptions and the dialogue with NPCs can be great. My particular favourite quest is where you get to play the role of the evil stepmother from Cinderella, and it’s your goal to absolutely ruin her night in any way possible. From tripping her during her dance to drugging her with ipecac and causing her to throw up on Prince Charming.

And hey, there’s a lot more you can get up to, should you find yourself with nothing else to do. After you beat the Naughty Sorceress, you can go through an Ascension, which resets your progress, allowing you to go through the game again but with restrictions or special challenges for rewards. You can play as a robot, or as one of the bosses in the game, or as an Oxygenarian. There’s a ton of value here for a free game. The only thing stopping you is the amount of adventures (time slots) you have on any given day.

So, if you’re interested, check out where the Loathing series began. This year is even the game’s tenth anniversary! You might find yourself bursting into tears from the absurdity of needing to kill Ed the Undying… again.