Opposite Day — The Worst Things About My Favourite Game: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

So, I’ve definitely already raised some heads, calling Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots my favourite game; most people seem to think this is one of the worst in the series, so this being my favourite game of all time definitely might lead to some questions… I can’t sit here and say that it doesn’t have issues; quite frankly, it has far too many to fit into this article. There’s just something about MGS4 that hit me like none of the others did, but this isn’t about the good; it’s about the bad. But before we move on, there will be spoilers to this game’s biggest twists, so if that’s something you’re wary of, maybe don’t read too far

Friendly PMC’s

There are a few PMC’s (Private Military Company) taking part in the wars that Snake is sneaking through throughout Acts One and Two, and depending on how you interact with members of these PMC’s, they’ll change how they treat you. Help them out by giving them items and helping them in battles, and they’ll become friendly, but do the opposite, killing and attacking them like you would any other, and they’ll see you as just another enemy. Despite this system being incredibly interesting at face value, it completely falls apart when you realise it’s practically pointless and even gets entirely abandoned for the last two-thirds of the game. While it could be seen as a story-telling device, showcasing how all these different PMC’s are entirely forgettable and are just another cog in the machine, yet it ends up feeling like an underbaked and uninteresting gameplay mechanic in the long run.

Act Three

Saying I hate an entire act of this game is a little wild, considering it’s my favourite game of all time, but I did say it has issues that can’t be ignored, and Act Three manages to condense a lot of these issues all into one place. It starts with some of the most blatant nostalgia bait, with the Young Snake face-camo being unlocked, which isn’t a huge deal, but it is a little on the nose. I find the first half to be a drag; despite the music and atmosphere being utterly incredible, the act of slowly tailing a resistance member through the city didn’t really land with me and ended up being an incredibly boring trudge. Upon reaching the end of this tailing segment, you meet with Big Mama (E.V.A from MGS3), who proceeds to drop some absolutely insane bombshells of lore out of absolutely nowhere. This not only reveals a massive amount of things that had previously been kept so incredibly secret but also manages to shift the narrative from being Snake’s last mission to being a Big-Boss-focused story, which definitely twisted the story in a direction I was not expecting but also one I wasn’t a fan of. Even after all of this, there’s a dull on-rails shooting section, which is another obvious callback to MGS3. Luckily, Act Three ends on an absolute banger as soon as Liquid shows up, which doesn’t absolve it of its sins, but it does make me feel a little less upset about them all.

Johnny “Akiba” Sasaki

Johnny is an absolute tonal mess of a character who I wish got half as much screen time, or maybe even less. He was a comic relief character throughout MGS1 and 2, and his grandfather played the role in MGS3, yet in Guns of the Patriots, they tried to give him a centre-stage role, and man, it did not work. Not only did they play up the comic relief, they tried to make it all a plot point, which I can’t understand why anyone thought it was a good idea. The system of nanomachines that every soldier has, Sons of the Patriots, gives them better control over basically everything anyone would need on a battlefield. It’s also the system Liquid is aiming to take over to gain total control across the globe. It’s revealed in the final acts of the game that Johnny actually avoided all of these nanomachine injections… because he’s scared of needles. He manages to be a bumbling idiot throughout the entire game, yet still saves Meryl and the rest of RAT Patrol 01 multiple times, all because he’s scared of needles, so the attacks on the nanomachine systems never affect him. It’s such a bizarre series of events, and I wouldn’t have minded so much if they had just kept Johnny to the side, but they keep shoehorning him into important and emotional scenes, and I just cannot fathom why he was written like this.

Despite all of this, though, I love MGS4. It’s stupid, and mostly not very well written, and manages to just be an insane mess from start to finish, but it’s an endearing and dangerously charming mess that I can’t help but fall in love with.