I Watched Avatar: the Last Airbender As a 30-year-old, and I'm Glad I Waited

Anyone who's in a long-term relationship will know that when you live with someone for years, you're bound to find things about each other to mock relentlessly. In my case, my wife will tell anyone who listens how I've abandoned books, shows, and games we were supposed to experience together. The list is embarrassingly long, sporting the likes of Naruto, the Percy Jackson saga, and Cross Code — just to name one of each media. 

Among the many, many things I've failed to finish with her was Avatar: The Last Airbender. This cartoon show was significant to her when she was younger, and it wasn't until I finished it that I learned that this was also her first time getting through it completely, as she had waited for me since then. 

Out of all the things we've done together, we hadn't tried sitting through Avatar that much, all things considered. I must've abandoned it perhaps four or five times (minimum), and while sometimes it was due to mental health battles I was facing at the time, a good chunk of them were because I wasn't engaged enough. Looking back now that I've finished it, I couldn't be happier that was the case.

I will be the first one to admit that I have been slow to mature, and while it's not something I'm proud of, it's also something I acknowledge was (mostly) outside of my control. Among my many flaws, I've been quick to anger, first to pull the trigger with judgment, been prideful, and, at times, I've thought of myself above others. It has been a long and arduous journey to get from where I began and where I was to where I am now.

Avatar: The Last Airbender might be a show that played on Nickelodeon and is aimed at children and teens, but there's a lot more nuance to it than meets the eye. My wife had warned me it takes a while to "get good", and despite how much I love and trust her word, not even then could I fathom the journey I was about to embark on. 

It's hard to put into words just how much this cartoon means to me now out the other end. What starts off as a journey full of goofy characters and situations slowly unveils a depth that is difficult to understand unless you've experienced it and one that keeps on giving. While every show has a level of character development, the one that happens in the cast of Avatar is some of the most touching, and not because it's cheesy or expected. It feels genuine, painful, and slow, and while watching it, I could see my experience in life mirrored back in several characters.

I think one of the rarest things is finding a show that really captures the human experience; it's not just about the struggle, the why, or the how. It's more complex than that. Obviously, the character that spoke back to me the most now that I'm where I am in life was Zuko, and I don't mean 'cause he's so cool. This hot-headed teenager feels the world is against him, and he's so suffocated by his internal struggle that he simply cannot comprehend Iroh's lessons. I saw my wife and me in that dynamic, as she's the complete opposite of me: while I've spent years desperately trying to conquer my demons, she's been at the top waiting for me. I wouldn't stutter when admitting that she is, by an absolute long shot, the healthiest person I've ever met. Her words of wisdom were constantly lost on me, and it wasn't until I finally stopped and listened that I really began my journey to health and happiness.

Out the other end, and after years of walking through fire trying to save my own life, I also hold a lot of her knowledge in me, and suddenly, I don't see myself in Zuko. There is no doubt that I see my younger self in him, but I can much relate to Iroh now. Of course, there's a deep sense of sadness and frustration when you garner enough experience and wisdom to help the ones you love, yet you can't do anything but hope they take your hand and find their way to where you are. However, the most relatable thing about him is that sense of relief that comes when you conquer enough of your demons that you start seeing the benefits. Being able to connect to that place of inner peace that better equips you to deal with every challenge is one of my favourite ones, and one that is evident in Iroh.

Another set of characters I saw my struggles in were Katara and Sokka. The latter reminds me of growing up as a kid from the '90s and having to fight those gut feelings of gender norms. Even as someone who married another woman, I've not been perfect in my journey to understanding. There have been a lot of beliefs and habits I picked up from my boomer parents that took me years to shake off, and they are all represented in his struggles. In the beginning, Sokka is very much sexist, always shouldering all the responsibility and weight while voicing his discomfort that Katara won't fit into the norm; in addition to that, all he does is complain, get angry, and rush into everything without thinking. While I am a woman and the experience isn't exactly the same, I've definitely had to scrub off a lot of ignorant beliefs from my mind, and it felt like an uphill battle to stop the knee-jerk reaction of making a fuss about everything.

And lastly, Katata's journey as a sidekick to Aang and being the only girl in the group for a while really resonated with me in the ways she'd react. She can be naggy, controlling, and envious, and this is something that goes throughout the seasons until she conquers it, much like Sokka and his struggles. While I can control my nagging (thankfully), I do tend to be quite controlling about my life and self, and it's something I've tried changing even recently, and although I am one of the luckiest people to have married my wife, I've dealt with a lot of envy. The love of my life has an endless list of talents and strengths and a shockingly short list of flaws. This has sometimes made it difficult to separate my eagerness to get better for the both of us and my dislike for constantly failing in comparison, especially as we're also co-workers. Competition is healthy, of course, but Katara's struggles to accept Aang's talents hit close to home.

It really is a no-brainer to me why Avatar: The Last Airbender has such a passionate fan base behind it. Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko really brought to life some of the most layered, distinct, and human cast of characters I've ever had the pleasure to experience. It takes a lot of empathy, understanding, and wisdom to portray such a wide variety of ages, experiences, and situations in a way that you can revisit through different stages of life and see yourself in it. It’s these kinds of shows that live on in us, and although I wasn't where I needed to be mentally to enjoy it as a child or teen, I'm grateful for everything it brought to me at the end of my journey. If you haven't watched it, I genuinely suggest you do... I promise it gets good.