GameGrin's Gaming Valentines

We asked our some of our staff here at GameGrin which gaming character they would like to take on a date this Valentine's Day and why. Here's what happened...

 

Nathan Drake - Ryan Davies

I should probably begin this by clarifying that I’m both a man and heterosexual. So, that’s that. There’s no way I could take most of the prima donnas of the gaming world on a date. An industry historically dominated by men has led to a rather awful collection of misrepresented and unrealistic women in videogames. None of them would fit the bill; plus, my idea of a real date is playing board games and watching Avatar (the animation, of course). I don’t think there are many gals in games that would appreciate that, and I get to do it already with my current (real-life) girlfriend.

So for my Valentine I want to experience something a little different. No, not THAT different. I just want to hang out with Nathan Drake, he seems like a cool guy. As the protagonist of possibly my favourite gaming series ever, and a smooth talking one at that, he’s by far my top gaming character ever created. He’s imperfect, funny, smart and not a total dick. All the things a woman would want in a man, and what I want in a friend. Admittedly, none of my current friends are adventurous treasure-hunters, I just think it would make for good conversation.

Then there’s the safety factor. No one would dare mess with me and Nate (we’re on first name basis now); he’d just pick me up over his shoulder and swing us to safety with a random vine that would undoubtedly fall from the sky. We could explore a dark cave together, unload hundreds of rounds at bad guys together, the possibilities are endless, and all awesome. So while you consider what buxom fake-woman you want to date this Valentine’s, just remember that I’ll be smiling ear to ear, having a great time hanging from Nathan Drake’s vine.

 

Mario - Helen Ashcroft

It sounds unconventional, and I promise I don’t have a plumber fetish, but I would love to take Mario on a date. Think about it for a minute. Where in the gaming world are you ever going to find a more devoted man? Mario has spent years rescuing Princess Peach (as well as other damsels in distress) and for what? Everytime the poor guy catches a break Bowser shows up and he has to start all over. I would love to know where he gets his determination from so I can have some.

Aside from princess rescuing, he has also proven himself skilled at driving, golfing, tennis, baseball and Olympic sports. With those skills, surely the cinema is out as a date spot? I picture him as the kind of guy who picks more unconventional dates like haunted house tours and go-karting.

So whilst you are sat in a restaurant wondering what to say to one of the more one dimensional and dull video game characters, me and Mario will be karting. If Bowser shows up I know I’ll not be out of the game for long with Mario around. Just make sure you send me over some of your mushrooms, I’ll need them.

 

Elizabeth - Luke Greenfield

Admit it, we all took advantage of the short moments in which we weren't getting besieged in BioShock Infinite to admire Elizabeth. What is there to not like about Elizabeth? She’s fun, loving and caring, but at the same time doesn’t let people push her around and generally makes her own rules.

All of these things are shown consistently throughout the game. She’s also got brilliant, mesmerising singing abilities, and a few other rather mischievous skills. She’s not selfish, and puts the ones she cares for before herself, but at the same time, is persistent enough to get what she wants, but not to the point of annoyance.

She doesn’t look too bad either. Those goddamn blue eyes. Her hair, a brilliant shade of brown. All of these add together to create a girl that would be great to take on a date. Pretty, but not boastful about it, very fun, almost carefree, but can be very caring when necessary. A good sense of humour and sarcastic, but in the best possible way.

Overall, I believe Elizabeth would make the best Valentine’s date. Harbouring some of the best traits possible in a female, and she’s cute as well, which is a double-win. As long as I don’t end up shooting anyone in the face or lobbing fireballs at them, it should be fine, right?

 

Companion Cube - James Furlong

There are many characters in gaming that have had me in the palm of their hand emotionally, but the Companion Cube is no ordinary character. I carried this cube for many a trial with nothing but its cold pink heart for comfort. How I would cherish an evening alone with the companion cube; candlelight dancing along its white curves, the aforementioned pink heart glowing in the dull light and its eight perfect corners sitting rigidly in the chair next to me.

We could share a glass of champagne, oysters and of course, cake. I would talk into the night about the possibility of Half-Life 3 and it would stare back, blankly; that stony reflective pink heart, forever an occupier of my dreams. The night would grow old and we would retire to the couch for chocolates and light refreshments. I would create a loving atmosphere to pass the time, showing the cube hilarious pictures of photoshopped Steam controllers.

Then I would excuse myself as I left to freshen myself up only to return to the cube, sitting not by the fireside, but burning in the hot coals themselves. Once again it would be incinerated, and I, left all alone.

But at least I still have the cake...right?

 

The Queen of All Cosmos – Gary Durston

Katamari matriarch Queen of All Cosmos would be my perfect date. She may be married, a flamboyant dresser and stand thousands of feet tall, but she has the ability to tolerate outrageous behaviour from her other half.

When her betrothed King of All Cosmos gets drunk, he gets really, really drunk. He destroys entire planets and galaxies when on a bender. To anyone else this would be a warning sign to get the hell out of that destructive relationship, but no, she can tolerate this OTT, devil-may-care drunkard with incredible endurance. Time and time again she stands by her man as he either drinks himself into oblivion, or soberly acts like a general bastard, destroying billions of people's homes, and then commands his son rebuild the universe! All the while he sits on his arse and tortures the poor little guy if he doesn't do a good enough job. Father of the year, that guy.

The King of All Cosmos may make my drunken date / night out efforts pale in comparison, but I figure if the Queenis into guys like that she'd have no problem with me and my inebriated embarrassment. Nothing I could do, say, or accidentally hit her with would put her off. Under those circumstances I think one could enjoy a perfect, relaxing date with free reign to do or say anything without fear of scorn..

Incurring the King's wrathful laser eyes and billiard balls of death is something I'd like to avoid, however. Hmm... maybe an illicit date with a gigantic royal married woman with low standards isn't really all that worth it after all.

In fact scrap that, I'd take Jack Bauer from 24: The Game on a date. Because it's Jack Bauer.

Myself (As a Sim) - Emsey P Walker

Okay, okay I get this sounds extremely narcissistic and yes, I guess it is a bit, but hear me out. When I make myself as a sim, I make the perfect version of myself. So technically, sim Emsey (or shall we call her Simems?) is everything I would strive to be as a person. She is a computer whizz (naturally) capable of all kinds of cool hacking and overclocking stuff; we all need to know someone like that am I right?

She’s also a bestselling author, with a myriad of literary hits under her belt, so you just know that conversation is never going to dry up. She manages to balance this time-demanding career with keeping the house tidy, owning several town businesses AND raising a happy little son. Not to mention that she is a natural cook with level 10 cooking skill and her Eggs Machiavellian is to die for. Also she has enough lifetime points to buy a Young Again potion, so get in good with her and you never have to grow old. And that’s why I’d want to date myself... as a Sim.