Diary of an NPC - Fourth Entry

 In every game you play the main character - the plot revolves around your every moment in the game like as unto a god. Of course, this means you ignore what's going on with the people around who you're controlling. The people who drive around, go in and out of stores and generally live their lives. But did you realise there are a limited number of so-called NPCs? To do their jobs in all of these games, especially the heavily-populated ones, they need to be able to come and go as they please. These people don’t think it’s odd to go from deep space to a land of dinosaurs in the space of a week - it’s their way of life. In this series, we follow one of these people - Nigel Philip Charles. Attacked, horrified and heartbroken, he is taking some personal time in the pet sanctuary known as the Kanto region.

Day of Arrival -

I’ve been in the region for five hours. In that time I’ve had some old guy (Professor Tree?) shove a talking Wikipedia device and a red and white ball in my hands, dragged around town to see the “Pokémon center” and “Pokémart” and warned several times about people in white and black outfits. At least in the last three places I’ve been, I haven’t been this confused… Now to try and find one of those pocket pets I’ve heard so much of…

DoA+1 -

Still haven’t seen anything I’d consider pet-like… I’d heard this entire region had like a hundred and fifty different species of pet! Instead I’ve seen sentient radishes, foxes that breathe fire, floating balls of gas and moving sludge piles… Sure there were giant arachnids and nightmare murder beasts in the Capital Wasteland, but at least those made sense!

DoA+3 -

Turns out I’ve had a pet - known as Pokémon - on me the whole time! Living in this ball thing the old tree guy gave me. It’s apparently a Charmander, which translates to English as “Holy crap it’s a lizard thingy that breathes fire!” I’m calling her Cher. Not that I know it’s a “she” - I don’t know how you sex Pokémon. No, not like that Diary!

DoA+5 -

I just got mugged! Had to rush Cher right to the vet’s - aka Pokémon center - because some kid in a red cap beat her up. And because he - well his Geodude Pokémon - beat up Cher, I apparently “had” to give him my money otherwise I’d “faint”... I was scared, Diary… I still am, what if Cher doesn’t make it?

DoA+7 -

Oh, right, Cher was fine. The hot nurse gave her back to me right after I finished my last entry. I asked her out but she just took my Cher again, put her on the bleepy machine and gave her back. Anyway, I’ve made my way to Viridian City because I heard the Gym Leader is hot. Also, I don’t quite know what a Gym Leader does. Like a mayor from San Andreas or a jarl from Skyrim?

DoA+8 -

Well she beat up Cher… I say ‘beat up’ when I really mean ‘Almost downed’! Her Pokémon were water-type: turns out fire types like Cher aren’t too strong against them. So I went to the Pokémon Center and Nurse Joy works here too! I asked her about it, but again with taking Cher, bleepy machine, yadda yadda.. Maybe she’s not into me, but really bad at letting people down?

DoA+9 -

God damn psycho with the red hat - again! I glanced at him - obviously a mistake on my part ‘cause he charged over and challenged me to a battle! Claimed it was my idea, beat up Cher and took my damned money! Then after I got Cher all healed up, some gits in white costumes with a cat mugged me! They took Cher, Diary! Right out of my hand! I don’t know what I’m gonna do…

DoA+10 -

Losing Cher means I really have lost everything… Nurse Joy won’t even talk to me now! This is another bust… I’m going somewhere they don’t beat up people’s damn pets. Where thieves steal without you knowing and they have funny accents. I’m off to Venice, Italy.