Diary of an NPC - Entry Five

In every game you play the main character - the plot revolves around your every moment in the game like as unto a god. Of course, this means you ignore what's going on with the people around who you're controlling. The people who drive around, go in and out of stores and generally live their lives. But did you realise there are a limited number of so-called NPCs? To do their jobs in all of these games, especially the heavily-populated ones, they need to be able to come and go as they please. These people don’t think it’s odd to go from deep space to a land of dinosaurs in the space of a week - it’s their way of life. In this series, we follow one of these people - Nigel Philip Charles. Taking some time to himself in Kanto, he was repeatedly battled by a boy in a red cap and ignored by the object of his affections, so he’s gone to Rome in the 1500s.

Day of Arrival

Wow - just wow… The architecture, the clothes… The stench… Rome stinks. I thought the Romans invented toilets? It certainly doesn’t smell like it, unless they don’t flush here… On the other end of the scale, there’s a lot of perfume in the air. But that might be due to the place I’m staying in being next to a… I don’t know… Women’s boarding house? Loads of women with boobs up to here, all living together. A LOT of giggling can be heard…

DoA+2

Ohh, they’re hookers… It’s hard to tell - not like back in Los Santos when it was really obvious. Anyway, I’ve been going around and exploring a little. Noticed there’s some gangs - but nothing as bad as Los Santos. Just… well, gangs of thuggish-looking folks who don’t look really happy. I also keep catching glimpses of a guy in a white hood running around, climbing walls. Not like Spider-Man, but like that free-running thing you see people do. The locals either don’t pay attention, or they forget it happened five seconds later...

DoA+4

I've found a place to drink, finally! Away from the women, at least. It's just too much, the constant chatter and gossip... Ugh... I think I'm over women.

DoA+5

Made friends with this really cool guy, goes by the name Salai. Apparently his master - his boss - called him that because he's a scamp. Or, he was when he was a kid. Keeps talking about "Master Da Vinci", so I don't think it's a family-owned business.

DoA+6

Saw that guy in the white hood leaving the brothel (they don't like me calling it a whore house...) this morning. Got a good look at him and he doesn't look like someone I want to mess with. Not that I want to mess with anyone, really...

DoA+7

So I spoke to Salai about the guy in the hood and he says Da Vinci mentioned him! He's made some stuff like Wolverine wrist-blades (that's what I called them) and a wrist gun. I heard this guy was an inventor, but that's really technical stuff. Too bad Salai won't hook me up. Says he wants to keep me for himself and I don't want to risk my best friend by going behind his back.

DoA+9

Salai's been talking about some hidden catacombs that Da Vinci's told him about. Apparently they've got some hidden treasure or something. I wasn't really listening, I was trying to win at cards. Salai's really good at talking and gambling at the same time, but not me... I can barely do one at a time.

DoA+10

The hood guy took Salai! Right out of the pub! We tried to make the guy leave him alone, but I wasn't going to get up and get stabbed with Wolverine-claws...

DoA+11

Salai turned up safe and sound! But things were kinda weird... He said he was "over" me and wanted to just be with his master... Weird thing to say, but I guess he doesn't want to be my friend anymore...

DoA+13

Ohh, he was gay, Diary! I literally JUST worked that out. He kept touching me, buying me drinks with his winnings, suggesting we go somewhere quiet... Wait - that means he was trying to cheat on his master... So did he want to be with me, or did he just want to use me? I never had this trouble with women...

DoA+14

It's time for me to move on. Somewhere more technologically advanced - with toilets. Also where the hood-guy can't track me down and stab me... I kinda made a faux pas and tried to sleep with the owner of the brothel... The hood guy's sister. So I’m off to Midgar.