Diary of an NPC - Entry Eleven

You play the main character in every game - the plot revolves around your every moment in the game like as unto a god. Of course, this means you ignore what's going on with the people around who you're controlling. The people who drive around, go in and out of stores and generally live their lives. But did you realise there are a limited number of so-called NPCs? To do their jobs in all of these games, especially the heavily-populated ones, they need to be able to come and go as they please. These people don’t think it’s odd to go from deep space to a land of dinosaurs in the space of a week - it’s their way of life. In this series, we follow one of these people - Nigel Philip Charles.

Day of Arrival
Now this is what I’m talking about… None of the superfast internet, but also none of the dysentery. Circa the Noir-period - technology that isn’t powerful enough to unlock my car from five feet away, but polio is of no concern. I think…

DoA+1
Got a cheap house (especially by Los Santos prices…) in a good neighbourhood. Or, it will be once this Suburban Redevelopment Fund takes off. They’ve put up a load of houses for returning troops from one of the zillion World War II campaigns. Oh yeah - I may have pretended I was a returning soldier…

DoA+5
So I’ve been in Los Angeles for a few days, checked out a few watering holes… There’s one on Hollywood Boulevard called The Blue Oyster Room. Friendly staff, good booze and cheap, too. When you’re as rich as I am thanks to money obtained in the future, the lack of high tax rates in the past mean you are flush.

DoA+6
I think I’ve caught the eye of one of the performers at the Blue Room. Elsa, is her name and she seems to like singing at me. I’m not complaining - a pretty dame giving you the eye can get a fella hot under the collar.

DoA+7
Aw man, some jerk’s been makin’ time with my gal! Some copper war hero - Officer Jerkface. No, I’ve got a better one - Detective Jerkface! No, that’s also terrible… Pretty sure she gave him the eye, too. Either she’s easy with the eye, or she was stringing me along with sung words…

DoA+8
So in other news, I was just offered to have my house bought back… There’s been a couple of fires in the neighbourhood, so I used my keen analytical mind to mull it over. And took the money. So I’m looking for a new place already… Thinking about converting my money into Hyrulian rupees - I think I’ll have a quest for the Triforce and see if this weirdly-shaped mole is actually a mystic birthmark.