Developer Interview: Secret Meadow

My name is Maxime CP, I am a child psychology scholar and visual artist from Montreal, Canada. I draw cute, stylised illustrations and paint colourful, expressive portraits!

Throughout all of my work, academic or artistic, I aim to amplify queer narratives and worldviews and to normalise diverse queer identities.

Honestly, a big part of why I chose to create the game from a fairy’s point of view is because “fairy” has long been used as a euphemism or a slur for “queer” or “gay”. To me, this is very much a reclamation of this term and a way to embrace all things queer and fairy-like!

I have always loved the lore of fairies as they are whimsical, mischievous creatures that live in their own magical world. I was always inspired by the presence of fairies in The Legend of Zelda franchise. The fairy fountains from Ocarina of Time are a huge source of inspiration.

I am making clear parallels between queer experiences and the experiences of the player, but I am still leaving the narrative and the gameplay open-ended, as it's a sandbox game. I don't want to leave it too vague to make sure that queer youth feel seen, but on the flip side, I think that the magic world of fairies can appeal to everyone's inner child.

The game is created to represent an array of experiences. All characters in the game are under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and trans and non-binary identities are at the forefront of the game. The player is also given carte blanche on their fairies' gender expression.

An important aspect of the game is to dive into themes of loneliness, isolation, and mental health, which are all disproportionately present among the queer community. I approach these themes from a reparative and preventative approach that highlights the simple needs of all children: to be given a space to safely explore themselves and the world around them.

I approached game development from a visual art and writing background and conceptualised the game as a picture book first. Given my professional background, I need to play to my strengths!

I wanted the visuals and the narrative of the player’s experience to feel like a fully illustrated universe that your inner child can get lost in. I drew everything you can see in the game, which is definitely a lot of hard work.

This process makes it different from traditional game development because I am developing backwards in a way; I start by establishing functional, polished visuals and then move step-by-step towards building functioning game mechanics. This process comes with its challenges, but it’s also a great way for me to make progress and showcase my skills. It’s also helping me build a solid base to work from and expand my game development skill set.

Both of these spheres of my life are intimately related. My PhD dissertation focuses on normalising the experiences and identities of LGBTQIA2S+ youth in the school system. In Secret Meadow, the player’s experience is created to mirror the experiences of a queer child, who can safely explore their world and identity with support from peers and community.

The entire world of Secret Meadow is really an homage to the rich inner world that queer children build for themselves when the outside world doesn’t feel so safe. It’s an ode to the magic of queerness. These are things that are at the forefront of all of my work!

The idea of needing a rich inner world growing up is very close to my heart. Through my personal experiences [and] my clinical and academic work, I have grown to understand how universal this phenomenon is. Children have an incredible ability to tap into their own creativity, and queer youth are often pushed to find refuge within themselves in this manner. My growing understanding of the power of a child's inner world has pushed me to create this game; keeping this world alive within myself has always pushed me personally and creatively.

I would say it is much more healing than it is taxing. My artwork was always, for me, a process of self-exploration and introspection, which can be very therapeutic in itself. Becoming more comfortable tapping into and analysing my own experiences through my art is a great way for me to heal, to create, and to stay inspired.

The decision to opt for peaceful and safe narrative themes in Secret Meadow is meant to portray how our institutions and society can better support vulnerable children. Instead of focusing on the ways in which queer children are failed by society, how they struggle, and how they are victimised, I wanted to focus on how where they thrive. This directly relates to my background in school psychology, where my research focuses on normalising queer identities in the school system. That being said, it is critically important to shed light on the hardship that queer people endure; I just think we need more examples of queer protagonists thriving for all audiences. 

This choice in narrative game design was thus taken to offer a preventive approach based on personal strengths and social support, as opposed to a reparative approach based on trauma or shock value of which we see a lot when it comes to queer representation in the media. 

We can offer a playground, a canvas, where children can explore new things, socialise without shame, and introspect without judgement. In my game, this environment is a magical forest. Though it is at times daunting and mysterious, fairies have the support and resources they need around them to thrive and turn the dark woods into their secret meadow.

I would absolutely love to partner with community-based organisations and other initiatives to spread awareness and money for queer youth mental health. I will definitely be reaching out to different organisations later in development to be able to create partnerships!

I’ve been a gamer since I was a toddler, really! Creating my own game has always been a dream in the back of my mind that I never thought I would actually follow. I decided to start my solo development studio in January 2022 because I was struggling to create the perfect island in Animal Crossing, which I think is a very relatable feeling! I was really trying to create a whole world beyond what existing cosy games allowed, and developing my very own game felt like the perfect way to do it. The recent rise of indie development studios has also been very inspiring for me. The video game industry is actively being revolutionised by creative minds, which has pushed me to put my own idea into the world.

The biggest challenge has definitely been to bridge the knowledge gap in terms of actual programming and game development! As I had never worked in the video game industry, I had a lot of homework to do to figure out the basics, choosing a game engine, and figuring out every little detail that goes into putting a game together. Thankfully, the online indie development community is incredibly supportive. Having spent over two decades in various creative communities on the internet, I can honestly say I’ve never seen a community so supportive. Without it, I certainly wouldn’t have been able to learn so much so fast and to pursue this dream project!

Budget is also an inevitable challenge, as I am currently a completely independent creator. I will be applying for different funding sources in the coming year, which (fingers crossed) would help me dedicate more time and resources to The Glowing Pond and Secret Meadow.

My visual art background has been my biggest asset while pursuing the development of Secret Meadow. It’s allowed me to create the visual world that I envisioned right away, which is really motivating to keep moving forward. In terms of game development, it also means that I can create all of the 2D visual assets on my own! For me, this complete creative freedom is crucial; the connection between the visual and emotional experience of the player is at the core of Secret Meadow.

I have been working on a children’s picture book telling a short story about a nymph lost in the woods and finding their path. This is where the world of Secret Meadow really started; I started building my own stories and lore about magic, nymphs, fairies, and other magical creatures. I’m choosing to create my own versions of these classic characters, as I would’ve imagined it when I was a child. Keeping my childlike wonder and belief in magical things is a big part of my art!

The whole process is just so inspiring to me. My favourite part has to be the creative freedom that I have. I can quite literally choose to create a world as I envision it and follow my creative impulses all the way. I think what I’m describing is a big part of what makes queer creativity so special, that we come up with a fantasy of our own imagination and commit to it fully.

A lot of different games, movies, and cartoons have inspired me in creating Secret Meadow. 

A Link to the Past first comes to mind (probably my favourite videogame of all time). Link’s burden of saving a world that is falling apart while sporting a fluffy pink hairdo was very formative for me.

I’m also inspired by a variety of cute, cosy, and exciting games like Stardew Valley and Wytchwood The flexibility of the sandbox world in Minecraft is also a big inspiration for the design of the game. I want the player to feel free to create a meadow that looks like what they picture in their mind.

Cartoons and anime have greatly inspired me as well, I don’t even know where to start. From CardCaptor Sakura, to Steven Universe, and Fantasia… Cartoons will never stop fascinating me and making me feel alive and understood. I really just want to believe in magic!

Even if I had not been a child psychology scholar first, I think the game concept would actually be quite similar. What is behind this game concept is my desire to connect with and channel my inner child in everything I do. It’s something I’ve done to cope with the world while growing up, and it’s a big part of how I heal as a queer person. This awareness of the importance of the inner child is also what led me to study psychology in the first place. Pursuing the development of Secret Meadow is making a lot of things come full circle!

Currently, I’m working on preparing a teaser demo version of the game, where players will have the chance to visit the forest, meet its magical inhabitants, and learn about the magical world of Secret Meadow. I will premiere the teaser demo at MegaMigs 2022 this October, a game development event in Montreal. Secret Meadow will be presented by Ubisoft in the “Indie Zone”, which is really exciting! I will then release the demo on Steam later Q4 2022. Keep an eye on my social media (@theglowingpond everywhere) for more information about it!

I am still in early stages of development, so there is no release date just yet. I am dedicated to putting out a polished game that matches my vision for this dream project! I have also been working with music composer Electronox (@electronox online), who has been creating incredible adaptive music that perfectly matches my magical, retro, cartoonish dream! I am hoping to expand The Glowing Pond team in the coming year to accelerate development.

That being said, I have been making exciting progress in building a whimsical, immersive, hand-crafted universe where anyone can become their own magical fairy!

I’m debating between fairies, nymphs, sirens, harpies… They appeal to me because they’re all portrayed as enigmatic and often feared women with powers as mystical as their intentions. I will go with the nymph, because of their connection to nature which is at the core of the world of Secret Meadow. Nymphs are usually described as inferior deities for being female and as vain creatures frivolously preoccupied with beauty. However, their connection to nature and beauty is, to me, the most powerful and inspiring part of the mythology they belong to. They focus on connecting to their surroundings, to nature, to other beings, and to the magic around them.

It has to be pink, but not just any pink. I need a light hot pink leaning on purple (if you google #e085ff that will show you exactly what I mean). It’s a colour I would’ve never dared wear as a child, but now I put it everywhere in my life now, from my home decor to my videogame. It feels very feminine and magical to me, which is why I’m so obsessed with it.