Deep Rock Galactic’s Hub Area is an Entire Game

In games, as in life, one of my favourite things to do is just arse about. Doss around. Generally, avoid doing anything particularly productive. Luckily, plenty of titles offer lovely, shiny, extrinsic rewards for top-quality arsing. Look no further than The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom for a prime, recent example. By all means, entirely ignore both the royal damsel in distress and the apocalyptic writhing goo consuming the land. Bumble around the world aimlessly for long enough, and you’re likely to end up outrageously rich and tooled-up before you ever set foot in a dungeon.

But true arsing about is its own reward, and some games set up ideal scenarios for joyous, pointless distractions almost by happy accident. Years ago, while progressing cooperatively through cyberpunky, role-playing FPS, E.Y.E: Divine Cybermancy, my brother and I found a kickable trash bag in a little alleyway. We probably spent more time playing footie with that thing than we did on the rest of the game. 

Deep Rock Galactic takes this idea and goes bonkers with it. The Space Rig, where you hang out between missions, is the arse-about capital of the cosmos. It rocks (and stones, obviously). I was overjoyed within seconds of entering the station for the first time upon realising that the barrels lying around the deck were — you guessed it — kickable. Brilliantly, needlessly kickable. There’s 30 minutes of procrastination right there. But little did I know, that’s just the tip of the beard.

As it happens, you actually can pootle around the rig quite productively; various terminals enable you to upgrade your gear, unlock and assign perks, exchange currency, and style your facial hair (can’t beat a hot pink moustache). But that’s not what we’re interested in today.

Across the walkway from the barrels, you’ll find the bar — possibly the arse-about capital of the arse-about capital. Here, you can get shwasted on dwarven draught ale before powering up the jukebox and throwing some suitably questionable shapes on the dance floor. Maybe you’ll amble over to the shockingly addictive keg basketball area or stick a couple of credits in the Jetty Boot arcade machine, which is basically Flappy Bird for space dwarves. 

If you’ve ever had a few friends over with the intention of popping out for drinks only to find yourselves still at your place hours later, too invested in 3-pointing crumpled paper into a bin to leave, you’ll recognise the vibe on the Space Rig when a few other players join your session. Barrels flying everywhere, chants of “rock and stone!” drowning out the disco, some drunk bloke at the bar slapping a springy gnome.

This could be the whole game, and I’d be happy. And bear in mind I’ve left some of the Rig’s goodies a secret since they’re genuinely so cool I’d call them spoilers. Spoilers! In the hub area! By the beard, that’s a good sign.  

This procrastinator’s heaven is successful in part thanks to Deep Rock Galactic’s pervasive, light-hearted tone. It’s impossible not to love these grizzled astro-dwarves with their PG-13 banter and chin hair obsession. In the moody, dystopian mean streets of E.Y.E, a half-hour soccer break felt a bit out of place. On the Rig, it just feels right.

When you do finally manage to coordinate your team enough to pile into a rocket and take on an actual mission, you’ll be pleased to find that the gameplay is stellar. Certainly good enough for the occasional break from arsing about, anyway.