Companies Getting Visited by Krampus This Year

Ah, the Christmas spirit. Beautiful lights; tall, decorated trees; sweets, oh so many sweets; beautiful, square-boxed gifts; and beating naughty children with sticks, and later eating them. Who wouldn't love the beautiful holiday season?

The naughty children, for one. And here are six companies that are getting visited by Krampus for being naughty.

Rockstar

Okay, those of you that listen to the GameGrin podcast know that we promised not to pick on Rockstar anymore because of the trilogy remaster but honestly? Screw pacts. Krampus doesn't care about pacts, he cares about murderous hunger, and none shall be safe from the bottomless pit of hunger.

They had the audacity to release Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy – Definitive Edition in a state where — and I'm quoting my boss here — there were invisible walls that didn't allow people to pass through, which then led to an ambulance trying to save poor civilians and then subsequently blown up for their selfless efforts.

Rockstar will pay for the deaths of innocent civilians caused by the invisible wall, along with every bug that ruined the release of the remaster, Krampus will make sure of that.

Bethesda

You knew this was coming, and you have no one else to blame but yourself.

Krampus doesn't like greedy companies. I mean, if you pay attention at all to the Bible, greed is one of the seven deadly sins. And since Christmas is supposed to be a Christian holiday, this means that Krampus isn't putting up with your crap any longer.

I don't even have to say it, because everyone present knows exactly what you did, Bethesda, but I will anyway because you deserve to be shamed.

As of the 11th of November, you put the final nail in the coffin. Look me in the eyes, and justify to me the re-re-re-re-re-re-release of Skyrim, with its "newest" iteration, Skyrim Anniversary. What do you want me to do, play a stealth archer again? No, go back to the corner and finish Elder Scrolls VI.

Ubisoft

I can hear the quivering of the boots of each company as the list goes on, slowly but surely they sweat profusely. You're up next, Ubisoft.

Sure, Ubisoft is certainly not so far up Krampus' list to justify too much suffering. At most, Krampus is probably just gonna rough it up a bit with a couple of sticks and twigs. “Why?” I hear you ask? That's simple: Taunting.

When Far Cry 6 was received poorly, Ubisoft had the audacity to taunt us with El Presidente via email for not wanting to put up anymore with the crap in Yaran. It's not my fault you made a sub-optimal game; you shouldn't be taunting me for it, you should be apologising!

KOG

The developers behind Elsword, Grand Chase Dimensional Chaser, and its predecessor Grand Chase. What is making Krampus slowly climb down the chimney like an anthropomorphic demon? Oh ho ho, don't get me started.

I mean, aside from all mobile game developers getting visited by Krampus (we're looking at you, King), KOG had originally cut support for Grand Chase, which sparked a ton of pirated servers to continue playing the dead game. So, of course, KOG decided that they wanted in on the money, closed all of the servers, and released Grand Chase Classic... A disaster.

For one, the game was released in a terrible state. What little changes there were from the original were bad, like terrible UI "replacements" which made it less responsive, opened the Steam page stating that the game had "20 unique characters" only to release it with 4 and drip-feeding the other 16 one per month.

What changes they didn't make were also poorly received such as the outdated pay-to-win mechanics the game originally had and the lack of regional pricing, which affected the Brazilians—their biggest player base—the most.

Krampus is coming, KOG. And it isn't happy.

CD Projekt Red

Krampus is coming for you once it's done with feasting on KOG.

You didn't think you were getting away with it, did you?

CD Projekt Red has some serious crimes to atone for. Apart from crunching the employees for the release of Cyberpunk 2077, and then the game being riddled with game breaking bugs—some of which are still getting fixed to date — the CEO had the audacity to comment that the crunch “wasn’t that bad” in an emotionally fuelled rage.

You said so yourself that there wasn’t going to be a mandatory crunch, yet lo and behold, here we are, you did it. Lying is bad, and it certainly won’t be earning you any sweets. And after that, you threw a tantrum. Krampus doesn’t tolerate tantrums, Adam Kiciński, and it’s going to take a lot more than a mere apology to make up for the crap that you pulled with Cyberpunk 2077.

Activision Blizzard

Image blurred to prevent showing gore.

Welcome to your tape, Activision Blizzard.

Your sins have transcended past just getting beat up by sticks. No no, if Krampus is eating any of the companies and dragging them down to hell, it's Activision Blizzard.

I know for a fact that Krampus has two bags filled with twigs and sticks to beat up two particular individuals within the company. With criminally low amounts of content within the latest expansions, and what players are calling the "draught" in World of Warcraft, along with the allegations that the company has suffered, Activision Blizzard will have to do a lot to get sweets next year. 

I can hear the low rumbling of a stomach, as the belly of Krampus stirs with excitement for new meals and very suitable candidates for devouring.

What did you think of our list? Is there anyone else that Krampus should beat up, or maybe even eat? Let us know in the comments below! I'm not scared to make a second version of this article, depicting everyone else I missed.