5 Reasons Casual Games Are Better Than Casual Sex

Sex and videogames don't always go together, either through rating systems, newspaper reports or age appropriateness. So on occasions like Valentine's Day you might be looking to spend your time away from your phone, to pay attention to that attractive person dancing over there. However, we would advise you not to, after all casual games are...

Easier to pick up

You can spend an hour or two grinding and buying drinks, flirting until you're red in the face, but after all of that groundwork the object of your desire could be snapped up by someone else when your back is turned. If you want a bit of casual fun then just grab your phone and tap on Angry Birds or Subway Surfers! Twenty seconds and you're away, with no risk of someone taking the hard work you put into getting it drunk.

No risk of infection

Who knows what they have that you don't want? They do - but they probably won't tell you! No need to worry about that with Candy Crush Saga or Temple Run - so long as you download them from the App Store or Google Play, you're as safe as houses! Don't risk your genitals oozing when you could just risk your fingers bleeding from pure fun.

Lasts as long as you want

Yes, they look so attractive in the glow of the flashing lights - but will they show you a good time? At least with Family Guy: The Quest for Stuff, finishing early isn't a problem with timed quests. And you want to go all night? Bubble Witch Saga 2 has tons of levels just waiting for you to pay attention to. Get bored in the middle of it - your phone doesn't mind! It understands your needs and won't outstay its welcome.

You can compare your score in polite company

Even with a really low number, there's no way you can talk to your parents about how many people you've slept with. And even if you can, do you want to? But your score on Clash of Clans or Odd Socks are perfectly acceptable dinner conversation. After all, with casual games you can share them with your parents whenever you want with no fear of what society will think about you.

They don't mind what you think of them

So you take a partner home and make all the right moves - but something slips out of your mouth and suddenly you're the bad guy and they vow never to speak to you again! So they were a little trashy and didn't offer to pay for half the taxi fare home, so you were right to speak your mind in your own home... But if you'd stuck to your phone and all those casual games, they don't care if you think they're cheap for having in-app purchases, or trashy for all but forcing Facebook integration. Casual games will love you forever.